Pass-Me-Over
Passover is a time of freedom and renewal — not just poetically but an actual cosmic energy we can download at the time of the Seder and all through Pesach. Tap into this unique and powerful force via the matza at the Seder and we can be released from our personal prisons. Every year I like to make a list of the things that keep me in bondage:
First prison I like to escape is freedom from my Phone. This is a big one this year – I discovered Instagram – I know I’m the last one in the modern era to find this dopamine inducing app. I understood for the first time why our kids are glued! Why do anything when you can sit back, relax and let the whole world enthrall and amuse you? A beloved family friend, Yossi Edelkorpf, wisely compared cellphones to crack cocaine. He’s right! Is there one among us who’s not addicted to this device? If we are not a master to technology, then it’s a master over us. That means we can actually be enslaved by the very tool that is supposed to serve us.
My 11 year old had repeatedly asked me for an iPhone. He’s the only one among his friends who doesn’t have one. While I’m moved by his embarrassment, I’m more embarrassed by how we’ve made a life out of watching others while neglecting our own. How many hours have slipped away that belonged to our family or to learning? It’s time to break free and reclaim sovereignty of time. Begin by taking an account of the past year and what you’d like to see happen this new year. While G-D created the world in the month of Tishrei, it was in the month of Nissan that the idea of creation was first conceived. This is the seed month to change any behaviour.
“My darling!” I said to my precious child, “Grown ups have a hard time regulating this gadget, let alone children. Ema is not ready to toss you into the world wide web.” Elevate technology. It’s meant for Torah learning, like all tools that we are given. Afterall, everything in the world was created for elevation and transcendence.
Second prison I like to pass-me-over is the prison of self-doubt and self-persecution. Let this be the year that we trade our need for acceptance, approval, appreciation, and applause for simply AWE of Hashem! This is not to say we now strip ourselves of our humanness. Human beings are made for bonding and connection, but if we live our lives in quiet desperation about the opinions of others, then we’d become paralyzed to our unique mission in life. This is exactly where the dark side wants us — frozen in self-doubt and our purpose — which is to partner Hashem in completing His vast eternal plan. We are needed, not needy. There’s no room for self-hate. This year, don’t hold back. Break out of your fears and share your gifts with the world. Don’t deprive the world of your gifts and talents.
Third prison I’d like to fly out of this Pesach is all the things that have kept me down and out. Pesach is one of my favorite holidays, I don’t mind any of its stringencies. However, I found out one year that I lost a pregnancy at this time after a long period of infertility. Since then pesach has been… bittersweet. I’m accepting now that I was meant to be the mother of one, not 13 as I’d always hoped. All what and who we have in our lives is G-D’s plan and vision. Our job is simply to surrender. Understanding G-D’s hands and private supervision in our lives rid us of any anger and depression we feel over the seeming “injustice”.
A client confided in me that she’s a magnet to everybody’s anxiety, especially her husband’s. He worries about money around the clock. Well, we share just about everything in our lives with our spouse, why not their anxiety? Joke aside, when one partner is better, the relationship is already healthier. We are two sides of the same soul. I remind her, as I remind myself, that our beloved husband is also fighting the same war. The same unholy-inclination that wants to keep us in our depressed state is pressing hard on him too! Can we be kind and compassionate with him as we are with ourselves? The Lubavitcher Rebbe explains we, the people of this generation, are the reincarnation of the very people that left Egypt. We are here to usher in our collective freedom starting with our individual. We are tasked with leaving Golus or exile.This is why it is so hard. But we have a force greater than all the darkness in the world. We have G-D! Go ahead, try and defeat G-D, if you can.
What are the things that keep you imprisoned? How does one liberate oneself from the prisons of suffering to a life of complete freedom? The answer lies in the month of Nissan.
Pesach takes place in the month of Nissan following the month of Adar. This year we celebrated two straight months, double Adar, 60 days of unadulterated joy that nullified everything negative.
Yet, Nissan, the month of (geula) redemption, surpasses the month of Joy! How? While in Adar we had to work for our happiness, it was not automatic, rather it required effort, like getting up and dancing! Nissan, on the other hand, is different in that it happens automatically without our help. Boruch Hashem! Todah Hashem!
This extends even in Halacha, Jewish law: in the month of Adar we say Tachanun – the supplication prayers but in the month of Nissan we omit Tachanun entirely! May we go from the Joy of Adar to the Redemption of Nissan to our complete Redemption. May it be Now!
L'Shana Haba'ah B'Yerushalayim!