"Any marriage more than a week old has grounds for divorce.

The trick is to find grounds to stay together.”

More important in a marriage than passion are kindness, respect and generosity. Only then can true love follows.

How do we express kindness in marriage or in any relationships in our lives when all we feel is anger, bitterness and resentment? What does respect look like when everything seems to pain, annoy and repulse us? How can we be generous when all we want to do is withhold and withdraw?

Surely, everyone agrees that peace in the home is of utmost importance, but how are we to attain this greatest of virtues, much less joy in our marriage when we’ve never witnessed or experienced it? 

Let's start from scratch. 

How it happens according to Rumi…

When someone with a good heart is hurt, the impact isn’t always loud or obvious. There won’t necessarily be any drama, revenge or lashing out. Instead, like a shadow over the heart, their pain is carried quietly while they still continue to be patient and kind as if nothing happened. But something has. Their trust in you start to unravel, slowly, silently, assuredly that the love and trust they had for you has been taken for granted.

They start to distance themselves — not to punish but to protect their peace because they can’t keep pouring their heart into someone where it’s not valued. They give freely, love deeply and unconditionally despite your flaws and at time cruelty.

When their heart is broken it doesn’t come with fire. It fades like a light that once burned bright but is now dimmed beyond repair. They may still smile and they may still care but they will never see you the same way again.

Then when they finally walk away, it’ll be quiet, permanent and unshakable. There’s no going back because they once gave their heart without holding back.